Thursday, July 09, 2009

Surreal

I'm sitting here. In a hospice. My Mama is dying. It came on sudden. It is sad, but she has been fighting the physical effects of a stroke since 1996, and I am happy that she is headed to a place where she'll be able to feel her whole body, not just her left side. Where she won't have to ride a scooter. And where she gets to be with the One who changed her life and made her the woman that she was.

Sitting with my family today, and reflecting on her life has made me so thankful for the legacy that she is leaving for me. I have a grandmother who loves Jesus with all her heart. I was thumbing through her bible today, and happened upon this verse underlined, with my name and 1983 written next to it: "But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children." She has sought the Lord with her life, she has served people, and she has taught me how to fight, and she will be missed so much.

I just got here today. I have been working this week, because of course, like everything else in life (think crazy surgery in the middle of tax filing season), it happens when work is crazy and the timing makes for insanity. I feel like I spent most of this week torn between two worlds. The world where I could be useful, and do my job, and the world where I really wanted to be, with my family. I am thankful that I get to be here now. With my family. It has fun to sit with my family and tell stories about her life and just remember who she has been in our lives. It has been emotional, but good.

I'm not sure why I'm sitting here writing this, but I haven't blogged in a while. It's what's going on in my life. So, there you have it.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh Sarah, how precious and in God's ordained time for you to have happened upon that verse she has probably prayed over for your life. And how sweet it is to see the truth of it ever so apparent in your day-to-day life.

I'm thankful you are able to be with your family; praying the stress of work fades away and God provides wonderful moments as you love on, encourage, and enjoy one another.

Praying for your Mama, and that her last days on earth are painless, comfortable, and full of love of her family and our precious Lord. As you said, what a joy that she will soon be walking with Jesus!!

Love you!

Kristie said...

I love that you found that verse as you were flipping through her Bible. What a sweet memory to carry with you...

I'm praying for you tonight- that you'll cherish the time you have left with her and the sweet moments with your family as you celebrate her life. And that you'll be challenged to live your life in such a way that your grandchildren will be challenged and inspired to love the Lord with all their hearts and follow hard after their Savior.

Love you friend!

Julia said...

Lots of love.